Bitachon

From the Chinuch Round Table

I teach fifth grade in a boy’s cheder. One of the talmidim, l’a, lost his father this past winter. Several boys asked me privately if its true that these things are decided on Rosh Hashanah and if how they daven will influence the coming year. I told them I would deal with the question in class.

How does on deal with middas hadin, tefillah, sechar v’onesh etc on the fifth grade level? Is it best to avoid it until they are older? Is there a reason not to give them the perception that they can indeed influence events through tefillah?

Thank you

RABBI FINK: At first glance it would seem that your talmidim have presented you with a double edged dilemma in teaching emunah and bitachon. On the one hand they want to understand deep inyanei hashgocha pratis and how they make a difference, yet on the other hand, for the most part fifth graders are much too young to deal with the complexity and sensitivity of these issues especially in the context of death and suffering.

However, more than likely, your talmidim are not really asking about emunah, schar v’onesh, the power of tefilla or the impact of middas din, what they really want to know is, in light of their friend’s suffering, “will this tragedy happen to them, r”l.” As such what they most need is reassurance and security to feel like they can go to sleep each night with the world they know intact.

In that light, it is this writers opinion that your talmidim would best be served by your letting them know that this question is an important one. It is an issue addressed by the greatest of Jewish thinkers including Moshe Rabbeinu himself (see Masceches Brachos where the gemmarah tells us that Moshe Rabbeinu wanted to know how come “tzaddik v’rah lo and rasha v’tov lo.”) Hashem has His ways and we are but, basrar v’dam. Teach them and try to deeply imbue them with the message of, banim atem laHashem Elokeichem – that Hashem Yisboarch loves them more than they can possibly imagine. His ahavah rabba is an ahavas olam! And, kol doveid Rachmana l’tav avid. Hashem gives us only goodness, though at times it may be difficult to understand. They have the right to question, but not fear, His loving kindness. There is no reason for them to feel the status quo of their weltanschauung will change.

Furthermore, you must help them learn that understanding the Ribbono Shel Olam is not our tafkid. Loving Him – being an oheiv Hashem, trusting Him – being a baal bitachon and being loyal to Him as maiminim is part of our vital role as the Am Segula. This is why our tefilos are so important and so appreciated, kaviyachol, by the Ribbono Shel Olam. Our tefilos represent our trust in Him as the Melech Malchei Hamilachim, and they do, indeed, make a difference. Yes, Hashem paskens a din on the klal and the individual on Rosh Hashanah. We are confident that He will give us what we need, when we need it, especially if we work hard to get it right through teshuva, tefilla and tzedakkah. A discussion of the depth of Middas Hadin is simply not appropriate for fifth graders. More importantly, let them know that through the sound of shofar, Hakodosh Baruch Hu abandons the throne of din and takes His place on the seat of His middas haRachamim.

May we all be zoche to have out tefilos reach the kisay hakovad – v’sheyamalu mishalos libeinu litova. Best wishes for a ksiva v’chasima tova lanu ulchol Yisrael.

How do we teach students to daven with kavanah?

From the Chinuch Round Table

Tefila is referred to as Avodah Shebalev. In the cassroom, how do we as Mechanchim teach our Talmidim to Daven with Kavanah, within the system of our daily rote Davening? Teaching the Peirush Hamilim is a start, but how we get to the hearts of our Talmidim?

A 3rd Grade Rebbe

RABBI FINK: Klal Yisrael is fortunate to have individuals such as yourself whose passion for harbatzos Torah and teffila is palpable. May you continue to be mameed talmidim harbei – v’lishmoah el harina v’el hatefilla!

You raise a challenging issue. How to teach kavannah. Of course, as you must surely realize, that with third graders that is almost impossible. They are way too young to fully capture the majesty of the teffilah experience and the opportunity speaking with Kaviyachol the Ribbono Shek Olam affords. Instead of actual kavanah they can be inspired to seek out a deeper more personal connection to Hashem Yisborach during davening time through inspirational stories such as those from my colleague Rabbi Yechiel Spiro. In addition, it is perfectly appropriate to stop the chanting of the teffilos in your classroom and ask the students to stop and pause b’emtza haperek while you introduce a particular poignant bakasha. You can ask the students to concentrate on a few meaningful words and/or concepts they can understand, such as v’haer einenu b’soraschecha.

However, in truth, the biggest gift you can give your talmidim at their tender age is not training in kavannah but rather accuracy and skill in reading fluently as you assure they are reciting the words of their teffilos correclty. B’etzem, teffila time for third graders is a chinuch experience. It is to train them how to pray well in the future (see Rashi Lech Lecha 14:14).

When it comes to davening, accuracy counts.

Words and phrases mispronounced at a young age will invariably stick with children when they grow up. These errors may not show up till they are up at the amud one day many years later. Unfortunately, children sing-song their teffiloswith so many mistakes it is hard to recognize what they are saying. Reading the words right must be priority number one. To accomplish this prerequisite training for teffila a rebbi or Morah must breakaway from the “rote davening” that often takes place in the classroom whenever possible. You should have your talmidim read for you privately. Help them focus on the clear rendering and syllabication of each word. Reward them for getting it right. Put up a teffila fluency chart and positively reinforce reward your talmidim for davening accurately and out of the Siddur. Indeed, before worrying about their kavanah be sure they are praying correctly (even the mi’lel and mil’rah!) In the long run it will make davening with feeling so much easier.

May we be zoche that the teffilos of tinkos shel bais rabban will break through the gates that have kept us caged in the golus and bring us the long awaited geula bimeira biyaminu.

Should a Yeshiva permit its best student to go elsewhere?

From the Chinuch Round Table

I am employed as a Rebbi in a small, fledgling Yeshiva. Many of the bochurim have done well but one bochur in particular has had a great aliyah and now wishes to move on to larger, more mainstream mossad and has asked me to advise him. I understand where he is coming from, but on the other hand, how can we build up our Yeshiva if we send away our best products?

RABBI FINK:  How fortunate you are to have such a dilemma and to witness the aliya of your talmid with your own eyes. Of course you know the answer. A rebbi always puts his Talmid’s needs first. In fact, a real talmid, no matter where he learns remains just that, a talmid.  If you feel his move will enable his continued shtieging let him go and watch him grow. His gadlus in Torah will be yours to enjoy and reap the ultimate schar from. Hatzlacha rabba, Cheilcha l’oraisa.