Bitachon

From the Chinuch Round Table

I teach fifth grade in a boy’s cheder. One of the talmidim, l’a, lost his father this past winter. Several boys asked me privately if its true that these things are decided on Rosh Hashanah and if how they daven will influence the coming year. I told them I would deal with the question in class.

How does on deal with middas hadin, tefillah, sechar v’onesh etc on the fifth grade level? Is it best to avoid it until they are older? Is there a reason not to give them the perception that they can indeed influence events through tefillah?

Thank you

RABBI FINK: At first glance it would seem that your talmidim have presented you with a double edged dilemma in teaching emunah and bitachon. On the one hand they want to understand deep inyanei hashgocha pratis and how they make a difference, yet on the other hand, for the most part fifth graders are much too young to deal with the complexity and sensitivity of these issues especially in the context of death and suffering.

However, more than likely, your talmidim are not really asking about emunah, schar v’onesh, the power of tefilla or the impact of middas din, what they really want to know is, in light of their friend’s suffering, “will this tragedy happen to them, r”l.” As such what they most need is reassurance and security to feel like they can go to sleep each night with the world they know intact.

In that light, it is this writers opinion that your talmidim would best be served by your letting them know that this question is an important one. It is an issue addressed by the greatest of Jewish thinkers including Moshe Rabbeinu himself (see Masceches Brachos where the gemmarah tells us that Moshe Rabbeinu wanted to know how come “tzaddik v’rah lo and rasha v’tov lo.”) Hashem has His ways and we are but, basrar v’dam. Teach them and try to deeply imbue them with the message of, banim atem laHashem Elokeichem – that Hashem Yisboarch loves them more than they can possibly imagine. His ahavah rabba is an ahavas olam! And, kol doveid Rachmana l’tav avid. Hashem gives us only goodness, though at times it may be difficult to understand. They have the right to question, but not fear, His loving kindness. There is no reason for them to feel the status quo of their weltanschauung will change.

Furthermore, you must help them learn that understanding the Ribbono Shel Olam is not our tafkid. Loving Him – being an oheiv Hashem, trusting Him – being a baal bitachon and being loyal to Him as maiminim is part of our vital role as the Am Segula. This is why our tefilos are so important and so appreciated, kaviyachol, by the Ribbono Shel Olam. Our tefilos represent our trust in Him as the Melech Malchei Hamilachim, and they do, indeed, make a difference. Yes, Hashem paskens a din on the klal and the individual on Rosh Hashanah. We are confident that He will give us what we need, when we need it, especially if we work hard to get it right through teshuva, tefilla and tzedakkah. A discussion of the depth of Middas Hadin is simply not appropriate for fifth graders. More importantly, let them know that through the sound of shofar, Hakodosh Baruch Hu abandons the throne of din and takes His place on the seat of His middas haRachamim.

May we all be zoche to have out tefilos reach the kisay hakovad – v’sheyamalu mishalos libeinu litova. Best wishes for a ksiva v’chasima tova lanu ulchol Yisrael.